We may not have feelings, but if we did, they’d be hurt. — Initial human reactions to the zombie awakening, led by the self-described “Zombie Preparedness Headquarters” Westlake Ace Hardware, have been less than welcoming to the zombie population.
With the help of ZombiesUnite.org, zombies are taking a stand against this unfortunate trend with protests at Westlake stores. ZombiesUnite.org is the first nonprofit organization created with the mission of advocating on behalf of the undead. It has come to the attention of ZombiesUnite.org that residents are being encouraged to shut zombies out from their homes—and society.
“Zombies were people once too, just like you and me,” said ZombiesUnite.org advocate Ricky Braneberger. “There is no reason that, with limb reattachment procedures and regular formaldehyde treatments, zombies can’t become normal, functioning citizens.”
Many people fail to realize the many ways the unique strengths of zombies could allow them to contribute to society. For example, they could make excellent car crash dummies and eliminate risky tasks for the living, such as window washing on skyscrapers.
About Zombies Unite
Zombies Unite (ZU) is the first nonprofit organization founded with the mission of advocating on behalf of the undead. Its mission is to work toward greater understanding between the living and zombies. They offer zombie support services including media relations, translation services and job placement. Learn more at ZombiesUnite.org.